I’m dehydrated, sitting on the worn sun-bleached red couch in my parents home, typing, and gazing out the sliding glass door, as “Arms” by Tunng languidly plays from my iPod- “Here we go again.” I’m watching the stray, lovingly dubbed, “killer cat” as it stalks a jittery fat squirrel outside. Last year it took out a raccoon- the cat, not the squirrel. It’s around 50 degrees today. in January. in Michigan. Weird, but it makes “winter driving” a lot easier. Quite a bit of nothing has happened since my last post. It feels good to be writing again though. I got a job in my hometown after graduation, worked there for three months, received an offer in Florida (which would enable me to move out of my parent’s basement, so I jumped at the chance for my independent life to begin) resigned from my current position after giving three weeks notice, only to get word from that same company, saying it was necessary to rescind the offer due to the current economy. woof. I was very sad. and I couldn’t return to the job i’d left. But, nevertheless, I can not complain. My parents have been very supportive, and I am enjoying my current job at Bearclaw Coffee Company. The management is taking advantage of my graphic design skills, and I am getting some nice resume pieces from it. I continue to apply to job after job. Someone will give me a chance to contribute to the professional world. But, for now, it’s a big proactive waiting game: apply, apply and apply while I wait to hear back. It just takes one place to say yes. One place- anywhere in the world- to be my bull’s eye in left field. Mostly, I just feel bored. I went from my hectic, joyous collegiate existence to staring at a computer screen for hours on end searching for job opportunities that fit my skills and experience level. Moreover, I have too much free-time. Which, really, does not sound bad, but I do not like having nothing to do. So, I volunteer and guest teach art class at the high school I graduated from, occupy my right brain with creative endeavors, and do Mary Kay events as well. (http://www.marykay.com/jackie.kenyon/default.aspx) I realize that my problems are first-world. I have warm shelter, I want for nothing (besides a job), and I am never truly hungry. I just don’t feel my life has any purpose. My joie de vivre has been in travel and art. I still have art, but travel seems a dream. i feel stale and uninteresting without it: a foreign set of emotions. I know a lot of recent grads are dealing with similar emotions for their own unique reasons, but it doesn’t remedy the situation. We are aching to be the independent, intelligent, innovators that our friends, family and Universities nurtured us to be. That said, I am not depressed, and mirthful happenings do go on in my life. I visited my friend, Amy, who lives around the Indiana dunes. Due to the crazy weather we’ve been having, shelf ice hasn’t even begun to form on the lake, so the water still sings it’s crashing melody to the shore. We went on a little hike up one of the steepest dunes, sliding two lengths back for every step forward we attempted. With wind-burned rosy cheeks, dusted with frozen sand, we made it to the crest. The dune’s top-sands were frozen in gentle layers; the winter sun’s light catching each tiny ridge. We wondered along the crests and valleys, eventually making our way back to her place. It was a great day. That’s where the photo above was taken.
I may muse on later, but until then, Goodnight Moon.
